I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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