Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
