just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
