even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
