i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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