OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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