"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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