well you can't waste a boner
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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