just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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