im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
this hospital has no fireball
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize