No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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