I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
