I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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