does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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