You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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