I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
