i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
