Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drink are we having for lunch?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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