Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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