Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
