I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
