i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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