I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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