Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize