Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
