with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
