ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
