I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
