Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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