Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just cropdusted the office
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
