I heard we made out
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
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As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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