I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I love you. Go after that dick
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
