there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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