A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
