never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
