why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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