Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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