yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
