I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize