if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
