he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just googled if crying burns calories
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
