I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
