Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
