We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
