3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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