Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
