i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I touched a dick in church today
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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