I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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