Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
