Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
