glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
are you so shy because you have an std?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
