So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
