i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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