Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
