he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
