yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
