My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize