i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
