I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
