I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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