at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
