Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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