I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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