She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
