How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
