he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
